I need help with my proposal essay. I already made it but it need fix in grammar, sentences and also my thesis statement. You will see that I already add the street name and how narrow is the road but maybe i added in the wrong place. This is what my teacher also said:
First, you need to delete or erase the last sentence of the first paragraph. That sentence is supposed to be your thesis, and the thesis for your paper should be written like this: “To solve this situation, __________ should ____________________________________________.” You need to say WHO should do something, and then say very specifically what should be done. That is all the information that you need in this sentence, your thesis sentence. You don’t need to announce all the things your paper is going to do or to refer to your own paper while you are writing your paper.
In your second paragraph, you might consider some specifics about how narrow the road is. You could measure the road’s width and give a specific dimension.
Finally, one objection you will need to consider is from many of the people who live on that road. To widen the road, the road construction company is going to have to take parts of people’s yards and property. They will also have to tear up people’s yards and property as they will be driving on it, standing on it, paving it, and so on. Is everyone on your road willing to accept that they will have to lose a little of their front yards and that on some days they may have workers driving and walking around in their yards until the road is finally widened and repaired? You will need to mention that all of you are okay with this, OR you will have to explain to those who are not okay with this why they should be okay with it. You will have to comfort them in some way or offer them something in return for their losses.